Almost every booking with me starts with one message on WhatsApp. A good first message gets a quick reply. A rude one gets nothing.
Say hello first
I like a message that starts with a proper greeting. Men who are kind and sound happy to be writing to me always start on the right foot. It takes one line, and it tells me a lot about how our time together will go.
What to put in your first message
Tell me your name and when you would like to meet. Then say what you have in mind. A dinner date, a massage, a trip and a video call each need different planning, so tell me which one. If we are meeting in person, say which part of London you are in.
A first message can be as simple as this:
> Hi Luly, I hope you're having a lovely day. I'm James. I'd love to take you to dinner on Friday around 8pm, somewhere in Soho. Would that work for you?
I can answer a message like that in a minute.
Messages I don't answer
A simple "hi" is fine, and I answer it. Messages that are rude or disrespectful, or that ask for photos before we have even said hello, don't get a reply.
Pre-booking
If you want to book me ahead of time, I ask for a small fee in advance. It holds your time with me. I tell you the amount on WhatsApp, and we arrange the bank transfer there too. My bank details are never on this site, and I only ever send them myself, in our chat.
If you would rather not pay in advance, message me about an hour before you would like to meet and I will tell you if I am available.
Agree on the plan before the day
Plans and boundaries are easier to settle in messages than on the night. Tell me what you are hoping for and ask me anything you need to know. Everything you write to me stays between us.
When you are ready, send me a message. If this is your first time with a trans woman, read this before we meet.
Brazilian trans woman living in London. I write about dating, respect and real experiences.